people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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