Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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