I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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