you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
