i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize