I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
