pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
