why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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