She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
