I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
