we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if only i could text you this smell
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
