Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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