No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
