whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
