Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
