Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Michael Bay diarrhea
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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