end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
