I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
