I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
