I wish you could order shots online.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
