Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
