I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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