AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
