I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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