South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
