I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
