remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
