i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
