so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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