she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
