Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
only if we run a train.
done.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
