i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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