Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
