Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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