considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
