I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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