Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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