I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just had sex on a roof
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
