he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
