By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
