I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
