Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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