Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
NoShamevember. You game?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
