i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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