He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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