So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
