Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
