If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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