i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
