We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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