He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
