I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
did you just send me my own nude
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
